Every bone and fiber in my body wants to be in Seattle right now. This must be what pain and suffering is. Hating every minute of this. The hardest part of all this is not being able to seeing a future. Unhappiness seems to be the trend for me right now. I feel like I’m stuck. I feel so wrong for even posting this because I know ill be fine… but taking it day by day has been one of the hardest thing for me to do. I feel so helpless and weak.

In a world where I know anything is possible, why is it still so hard? Why is it so hard to change?

If it is distasteful for continually talking about money tonight. The subject of money is taboo in the
Chinese culture… or at least I was raised to never talk about it or flaunt it around.

…But I dream constantly of money all the tim, consciously and unconsciously. Is this normal?

What would it mean if money wasn’t an issue too me anymore…